Week 15.

I figured I should post a current belly picture because let me tell you...I popped at 14 weeks. It is amazing how people can now tell I am pregnant and not just fat. I am loving my growing belly and I actually enjoy wearing maternity clothes. Keep growing baby.

Week 15

This week has been really hard on me. In fact I have named this lovely week "the week from hell." I have been really even kill with emotions up until this week. This week I have had many thoughts go through my head that have made me feel like I am going crazy. One day I almost had a panic attack thinking that baby wasn't okay and what if it was dead and then the next day I kept thinking I wasn't going to love this baby and I wouldn't want it. Which led me to crying uncontrollably and made me feel like I was the most horrible human being. Of course I want this baby. I waited forever for this baby. The thoughts I had the day before tell me I love this baby so why was I having those thoughts. It was a very dark place that I don't ever want to return to. I have talked to A LOT of people and they tell me this is normal but it still worried me. It got so bad that I called my doctor twice in two days to talk to him about it. I have come to realize that talking about it, praying, and having the priesthood in my life will help me get through these hormonal thoughts. Anyone else have crazy thoughts like this? I have loved being pregnant but I do not like this part about it.

One more thing. We find out on the 4th whether baby Harris is a boy or girl (I feel like this pregnancy is flying by)... I am thinking girl and AE is hoping boy. I will update as soon as we know.