Crazy me.

I have been in a funk lately. I won't go into much detail because well I don't want to. I have had the easiest pregnancy and I am not complaining. Seriously I tell Ae all the time that I often forget I am pregnant until I feel her kick me or I look down and notice my ever growing belly. I guess you tend to forget when your not barfing your guts out and when you have very minimal symptoms (did you know being exhausted doesn't go away in the second trimester like the rest of the symptoms? Yes I have more energy but I still find myself going to bed at 8:30.). Anyway, the only thing I have struggled with this entire pregnancy are my emotions. They have been pretty bad at times to the point where I get scared and want to beat my head into a wall from the awful thoughts I have(no joke). I am learning to cope with these emotions by reading a lot, talking to people who have dealt with the same thing, eating better, taking my prenatal's and other supplements every day and praying a lot. They have seemed to help a lot but there are still some days I can't get the thoughts out of my head. I came to the conclusion that writing the things I am grateful for might help with my emotions so here goes:

• My amazing wonderful husband who listens to me complain about my crazy thoughts and who is also more understanding than I have ever given him credit for. It almost makes me cry to think how wonderful he is and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him. I am so excited to see him be a dad and I just know that he will love this little girl more than anyone.


• This little girl growing inside of me. She is not afraid to let me know she is in there and kicks me all the time. I am loving it. I can't wait to see what she looks like.


• My great family. They are wonderful. That is all.


• My friends. I can count on them for any advice.


• The gospel and having the priesthood in my home. I went to the temple last night by myself because my soul was needing it. Let me tell you, it was so worth it and I felt so empowered.


• A job that I love.


• A roof over my head.


• A wonderful well behaved dog who I am sure will hate her life come September.


• My reliable car.


• Having summers off and getting paid for it.


• So many more things. My life is wonderful and I really can't complain.