Wednesday, October 15, 2008
My current thoughts.
So I am sitting in our new place folding laundry and I get to thinking (never a good thing). I usually am a big fan of change. I usually welcome it with open arms because I think it makes our lives better but this time around I am struggling. It has hit me that our lives are changing a lot in the next year and its a bit overwhelming. I am loving our new place but as we said goodbye on Tuesday after our final inspection my heart broke a little. This was the place where we spent the first two years of our marriage together. This was the place where so many friendships have been made that make me sad to think they aren't close anymore. This was our first home together. We always joked about how bad it was to live at the village but I know I will miss it. I think I will miss it mostly because we now live next to every non lds smoker in all of Utah. Not saying they won't be our friends but it is so much easier to live next to people that have your same values. Pluse we have just become really good friends with a couple that live in the village. Man we are going to miss them. Then I start to think about how I am graduating in less than seven months. School has been my life for the past 16 years, can it really almost be over. I love school and learning. I am scared to death to have a career. I am scared of what comes after graduating college. This brings me to my next thoughts of having children (no I am not announcing). EVERYONE is pregnant. Is this a sign... Who knows but there comes a time when we will have to figure out that the time is right to start our own family. YIKES! I am so excited but scared at the same time. I know this sounds selfish but I enjoy having our free time and alone time. But with graduating comes parenting. I know we will be ok when the timing is right but it still scares me half to death. Life sure does throw us some curve balls. I am for the first time in my life scared of what is to come......I am seriously struggling. As I sit here and write this tears are coming to the surface. I am happy with our lives and our everyday routines. If anyone has any suggestions on how to get through our crazy livs please help.