Wednesday, October 15, 2008

My current thoughts.

So I am sitting in our new place folding laundry and I get to thinking (never a good thing). I usually am a big fan of change. I usually welcome it with open arms because I think it makes our lives better but this time around I am struggling. It has hit me that our lives are changing a lot in the next year and its a bit overwhelming. I am loving our new place but as we said goodbye on Tuesday after our final inspection my heart broke a little. This was the place where we spent the first two years of our marriage together. This was the place where so many friendships have been made that make me sad to think they aren't close anymore. This was our first home together. We always joked about how bad it was to live at the village but I know I will miss it. I think I will miss it mostly because we now live next to every non lds smoker in all of Utah. Not saying they won't be our friends but it is so much easier to live next to people that have your same values. Pluse we have just become really good friends with a couple that live in the village. Man we are going to miss them. Then I start to think about how I am graduating in less than seven months. School has been my life for the past 16 years, can it really almost be over. I love school and learning. I am scared to death to have a career. I am scared of what comes after graduating college. This brings me to my next thoughts of having children (no I am not announcing). EVERYONE is pregnant. Is this a sign... Who knows but there comes a time when we will have to figure out that the time is right to start our own family. YIKES! I am so excited but scared at the same time. I know this sounds selfish but I enjoy having our free time and alone time. But with graduating comes parenting. I know we will be ok when the timing is right but it still scares me half to death. Life sure does throw us some curve balls. I am for the first time in my life scared of what is to come......I am seriously struggling. As I sit here and write this tears are coming to the surface. I am happy with our lives and our everyday routines. If anyone has any suggestions on how to get through our crazy livs please help.

7 comments:

Whitnie said...

Hey Cass! Cute Blog!!! I haven't seen you forever and I miss your face:) I hope everything's going good for you!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Cass! It is crazy that life is changing so much! I wish I had a solution. . . if you come up with one let me know. President Monson talked all about change in Finding Joy in the Journey talk. It really hit home for me! Love you friend, if you need anything let me know. P.S. I'm not pregnant, lol its not a sign!

Linds K. said...

Cassidy! Please call me, I really want/need to talk to you!

Alison said...

Hey Cassidy we miss you guys. It was kind of sad to take Grace into nursery today and for you not to be there. And when the time comes you are going to be one awesome mom. ;)

Swenson Family said...

We miss you. I am excited for you and your new phase of life. Change is great, just not right when it is happening. Good luck with everything and visit often! We miss you guys.

Tami said...

I know just how you feel only my change is in coming to the village. (Love it but so different than anything we've experienced since being married) I loved my alone time with my husband- so good for a couple. Hang in there! Life is fabulous post-graduation- you can watch TV, read whatever you want, etc. and never feel guilty about having to study. Good luck- we miss you over here!

Andy and Elise said...

i totally agree.. i feel exactly the same way!!! i graduate in december and although i look forward to it i'll miss the friendships that i have made. I'm sorry that you feel this way because i know that it sucks but we all have to grow up sometime! :) it'll be an adventure!